Rebuffed by Petra

To the best of my memory, I think I've been rebuffed in the process of trying to kiss a girl three times. Two of them happened when I lived in Tallinn, Estonia, a time when I spent many a late, late night out on the town with just-met Estonian acquaintances. But the most memorable and first of the three, was at a Halloween Party in 1999, while I was attending school in Exeter, England. I spent my Junior Year abroad at Exeter in the 99-00 school year, and, though Halloween is not commonly celebrated in Europe, the significant coalition of Americans were eager to host a Halloween that year. In the dorms I lived in, we had a large kitchen/common room shared by me and 11 others and we hosted the party there. The turnout was great, not just among American, but among the various international students that also occupied those dorms, and our kitchen was packed with people.

Among them was a German girl named Petra. It was in fact quite common at the time for foreign students taking their year abroad to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, who was not able to join them. As a result there were quite a number of scandalous infidelities in the absence of these unavailable boyfriends and girlfriends. Fortunately, for Petra, her boyfriend, Felix was able to join her at Exeter, and lived in the same dorm on the same floor. Unfortunately for me, I was not aware of this.

I met her at this party and started talking to her and quickly was engrossed in quite an interesting conversation. I thought it was a mutually amicable conversation, though admittedly I was perhaps a little bit drunk; so after talking to her for a while I attempted to kiss her. Every other time I'd tried to kiss a girl, I'd been readily accepted, but this time, when I leaned in for a kiss on the lips, the girl recoiled. I didn't realize why, and imagined reasons, "Am I just not attractive to her? Does she find me dull and just talks with me out of politeness? Am i being too forward?"

After being embarrassed by this inopportune advance, though, we just continued talking, as if nothing had happened. I was too embarrassed to talk about it and perhaps she was too polite. It was never even brought up once, though I conversed with Petra many times subsequently. I only later found out about Felix, which partly assuaged my damaged ego. But I can't deny that perhaps a little bit of my confidence in taking the initiative with women was sapped.

To the best of my memory, I think I've been rebuffed in the process of trying to kiss a girl three times. Two of them happened when I lived in Tallinn, Estonia, a time when I spent many a late, late night out on the town with just-met Estonian acquaintances. But the most memorable and first of the three, was at a Halloween Party in 1999, while I was attending school in Exeter, England. I spent my Junior Year abroad at Exeter in the 99-00 school year, and, though Halloween is not commonly celebrated in Europe, the significant coalition of Americans were eager to host a Halloween that year. In the dorms I lived in, we had a large kitchen/common room shared by me and 11 others and we hosted the party there. The turnout was great, not just among American, but among the various international students that also occupied those dorms, and our kitchen was packed with people.

Among them was a German girl named Petra. It was in fact quite common at the time for foreign students taking their year abroad to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, who was not able to join them. As a result there were quite a number of scandalous infidelities in the absence of these unavailable boyfriends and girlfriends. Fortunately, for Petra, her boyfriend, Felix was able to join her at Exeter, and lived in the same dorm on the same floor. Unfortunately for me, I was not aware of this.

I met her at this party and started talking to her and quickly was engrossed in quite an interesting conversation. I thought it was a mutually amicable conversation, though admittedly I was perhaps a little bit drunk; so after talking to her for a while I attempted to kiss her. Every other time I'd tried to kiss a girl, I'd been readily accepted, but this time, when I leaned in for a kiss on the lips, the girl recoiled. I didn't realize why, and imagined reasons, "Am I just not attractive to her? Does she find me dull and just talks with me out of politeness? Am i being too forward?"

After being embarrassed by this inopportune advance, though, we just continued talking, as if nothing had happened. I was too embarrassed to talk about it and perhaps she was too polite. It was never even brought up once, though I conversed with Petra many times subsequently. I only later found out about Felix, which partly assuaged my damaged ego. But I can't deny that perhaps a little bit of my confidence in taking the initiative with women was sapped.

Rebuffed by Petra